First Thing Monday #14
This week we discuss how fair pay and high tech expectations are key to recruiting talent, family drama at the bookstore, and a deeper dive into gossip 💸📚🗣️
🏈 Good morning, readers! I must confess—I haven't watched even a single minute of Kansas City football this season. Please don't be angry with me. Last week, we had a chat about gossip, and several readers reached out for a more in-depth discussion. So we have a longer "One Last Thing" for you this week!
☑️ FTM is a weekly newsletter that includes a recap of all the news Millennial and Gen Z leaders need to know to help make better decisions about their careers. Each issue also includes four tips for developing better relationships in your workplace. Weekly issues come out on Monday mornings!
❓ Have a work question or topics you’d like us to discuss? Drop me a line 📱 misterfantastiksubstack@gmail.com or leave us a comment below!
I’m Jon Cochran, a consumer goods executive with 15 years of experience leading sales, marketing, and product development teams and working with brands like J.Crew, Hilton, and Mattel. I want to provide resources to help you take control of your career and maximize your satisfaction in the workplace.
⏰ What to read before your first meeting:
A Silver Lining From the Pandemic: A Surge in Start-ups (NY Times): The influx of new start-ups (more in 2020 than in the post-Great Recession era) is proving to be part of the explanation for new job growth. Smaller businesses continue to hire workers, outpacing the larger companies who’ve dominated hiring in the past and have gone through layoffs this year.
Help is needed from the top (SHRM): Middle managers are crucial, overlooked by the CEOs, and made fun of on TV. Instead of assuming middle managers are mediocre, the C-suite should work on reducing excessive or redundant administrative time sucks so managers can focus on training, coaching, and maximizing the customer experience.
Digital Employee Experience is Key to Attracting and Retaining Millennial and Gen Z Employees (OnRec): According to this UK study, Millennials & Gen Z have the highest digital workplace expectations. IT teams are blamed for slow systems and lack of tools. Higher expectations force businesses to shift budgets to make tech decisions faster to respond to the increasingly hybrid workspace and evolving tech needs.
Why Retailers Still Can’t Solve Their Hiring Problem (Business of Fashion): From mismatched job titles and job responsibilities to slower wage growth compared to other service jobs, retail sales associates are now demanding more from companies who depended on college-aged labor and few benefits for workers in the past. Higher pay seems to be working for restaurants these days. Maybe start there?
How therapy-speak became the love language of the modern workplace (Harper’s Bazaar India): I had just lost the second of two beloved dogs and was sharing that news with my supervisor when she stared vacantly into my eyes and said, “Sit with your grief.” That might’ve made her feel better, but it made me feel worse. Use the words you have, but don’t be a weirdo! And talking about love languages at work is weird.
🚰 The Water Cooler
The Will and Jada plot stays THIQUE!
Is Bad Bunny wearing a wig to hide a new buzzcut? I wish I’d written this headline.
My internal denim debate continues: do I give in and try a bootcut/flare-adjacent style? Pharrell gives me the inspo I need. Any readers who are also Short Kings? What are your thoughts on flared jeans for us?
I’m reading “Unscripted: The Epic Battle for a Media Empire and the Redstone Family Legacy.” This family is unhinged, but not as unhinged as the Sacklers!
⚡️ And one last thing…
After last week’s One Last Thing about gossip, I heard from several readers who shared their awkward and sometimes painful experiences. Several wanted more insight into the relationships at stake when facing gossipy co-workers. We’ve been developing a framework at FTM to maximize workplace relationships while building leadership and communication skills. For this week’s One Last Thing, I want to share a story of co-worker gossip and then use the You/Boss/Direct Report/Co-worker framework to think about healthier practices that could have made this awkward experience a more productive workplace conversation.
A few years ago, I had just started at a new company and in a new role. Within the first few months, I traveled to New York for a conference with one of my new colleagues. We started at the company at the same time and bonded over that shared experience. We’d just finished a long day of meetings and were on our way to a much-needed happy hour. During the brief cab ride, we hit a lull in the conversation and before I could ask about current favorite TV habits, she was unloading the intimacies of her political worldview capped by the memorable flourish, “But at least we have DeSantis!”
I’m from a school where my parents taught me not to bring up politics at work— but I’m also used to people oversharing. So I was prepared to absorb the political radiation. But she wasn’t done. The conversation turned from the generally uncomfortable to the specifically uncomfortable. She casually said, “Are you worried about our creative leader? She’s like so…big. I don’t think she exercises. And what she orders from Starbucks is so unhealthy. It stresses me out–what if she dies!?” I did not know what to say. Full stop. I had never experienced someone criticizing something as intimate as another coworker’s body.
My new colleague did not relent; she shared details of her conversations with our co-workers about health changes she recommended to help them deal with their unhealthy lifestyles. I became increasingly uncomfortable once she finished prescribing a fitness and nutrition program for our leadership team. I was stunned. This trip was the first time we had spent much time this closely in person, and I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. But as time went on, her comments and asides about our co-workers did not stop. “Go ahead, girl, reveal yourself!” I thought.
What do you do in this situation? Do you let this person continue to reveal their true colors (i.e. toxic workplace behaviors), or do you take a stand and calmly express your discomfort with her conversation choice? Do you challenge the worldview that doesn’t fit your values or your company’s mission? If your colleague is not your direct report, addressing their behavior is not necessarily your responsibility. In hindsight, I would have done some things differently in how I handled this situation. Let’s discuss it!
For yourself: Instead of ignoring my colleague’s comments, I should’ve addressed the behavior then and there. I was afraid she would be mad at me for calling her out, but not expressing my fundamental disagreement with her body-shaming our colleagues was a communication failure on my part. My non-reaction made her feel as if she had permission to disparage coworkers to me. Talking about others when they are not there to provide context or to respond is unfair. For me, this sort of toxic behavior is a red line and by allowing my coworker to cross it, I was not respectful of my core values.
For your boss: I turned to my boss for advice rather than confront my colleague. I felt comfortable with her and thought she would be empathetic and understanding. I told my boss my colleague’s behavior demonstrated a culture mismatch with our organization. The conversation with my supervisor went fine, but not much about my colleague's behavior seemed to change. As a boss, when a direct report brings a sensitive topic to your attention, they seek guidance and sometimes an intervention. Develop skills in knowing when you need to take action and when you need to listen. If a direct report brought this issue to me, I’d want to address it with the offending party’s supervisor first. That person may be able to provide additional detail or context that gives perspective to the behavior. It’s also an opportunity to document the gossip and work to address how the culture of gossip that inevitably exists in your work environment affects the overall company culture. Don’t forget to follow up with your direct report, who brought the issue to you, and with the gossiper's supervisor.
For your direct reports: Gossip can destroy people’s credibility and hurt your organization’s culture. Be an example of what it looks like to avoid gossip and actively call out gossipy behaviors. And let’s be clear: there is a difference between venting and gossiping. Venting is when you process your feelings with someone to work towards a solution. Venting allows the person speaking to give voice to their emotions about an experience. Gossip centers another person or people at the center of a frustrating experience. It’s ultimately a blame game. An excellent supervisor once told me to always vent up. If you need to vent, talk to your supervisor. Don’t vent to your direct reports. And though it’s hard, avoid gossip. Try to address problematic behaviors rather than blaming problematic people.
For your co-workers: If this kind of behavior and attitude showed up in one-on-one interactions with me, it probably also showed up in how this woman acted with others on the team and maybe our clients. I was not this woman’s supervisor, so it wasn’t up to me to discuss her behavior. As a leader, you set the tone for what is acceptable. In this case, I do not speak about bodies at work, with direct reports or otherwise. You can discuss food, exercise, and culture without negative body talk. We can talk about those things without denigrating the bodies of others. In daily interactions with your colleagues who are parallel on the org-chart, don’t be afraid to assert boundaries about what you feel is appropriate conversation in the professional setting.
Building a collaborative relationship requires vulnerability. Knowing what I know now about myself and this colleague, I could’ve stood up for myself and said, “Don’t talk about our co-workers’ bodies around me. I think it’s inappropriate!” We would never have a great relationship anyway, and I already felt like my vulnerability would be unwelcome. Still, I would’ve felt better about myself in the long run had I said something. What lessons have you learned from handling challenging situations in the past? What would you do differently today?
Have a great week!
Follow me on Instagram at @mistersfantastik
You read interesting books. Any recommendations for someone interested in more contemporary works? Like not something written before Y2K?
These are interesting notes about Millennial and Gen Z recruits having high tech expectations. What's been your experience with tech investments at work? Do workers want better technology?