First Thing Monday #23

This week we revisit our Top Three Posts of 2023 and respond to your letters in our latest Reader Mailbag

Photo by Lucian Alexe on Unsplash

👋🏻 Happiest of Mondays to you! We’re doing things a little different this week. Just in time for the new year, we’re going to take a look at our top three posts of 2023. And in our latest Reader Mailbag, we look ahead to 2024 with tales of setting boundaries, leggings in the workplace, and that one cringey coworker.

☑️ FTM is a weekly newsletter that includes a recap of all the news Millennial and Gen Z leaders need to know to help make better career decisions. Each issue also includes four tips for developing better relationships in your workplace. Weekly issues come out on Monday mornings!

❓ Have a work question or topics you’d like us to discuss? Drop me a line 📱 misterfantastiksubstack@gmail.com or leave us a comment below!

I’m Jon Cochran, a consumer goods executive with 15 years of experience leading sales, marketing, and product development teams and working with brands like J.Crew, Hilton, and Mattel. I want to provide resources to help you take control of your career and maximize your satisfaction in the workplace.

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🙏🏻 2023 In Review

My goal in writing this newsletter has always been to share resources and provide a little insight from my 20 years of researching and participating in the contemporary workplace. In my own professional life, I sometimes struggle “to do as I say” when writing FTM. So this Substack has also allowed me to confront those disconnects in intention and behavior in my own work.

I look forward to all of the opportunities that the new year will provide to bring empathy, self-reflection, and humor to my workplace and to all of you readers out there!

So in the spirit of reviewing what worked well, let’s look back on 2023 before we hit the ground running on 2024. Below are First Thing Monday’s most read and engaged with posts from last year. I am grateful to everyone who subscribes and reads First Thing Monday each week! I’m also grateful for my husband,

Ben Bolling

, who reads and edits every post and shares his own wisdom and insight with me every day. Best wishes for the new year!

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⚡️ And one last thing…

And now for some questions from First Thing Monday readers! Leave us your comments below and continue to send your questions to misterfantastiksubstack@gmail.com. Remember to include “Mailbag” in the subject and if you’re okay with your letter being included in a future installment of Mailbag please indicate “OKAY TO PRINT.”

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Hi Jon, I'm a big fan of your advice on building boundaries, and I'm hoping you can help me with a sticky situation. At work, I'm a bit of a people-pleaser, and I end up saying "yes" to every request that comes my way, even when it means sacrificing my own time and well-being. My schedule is overflowing, my stress levels are rising, and I'm starting to resent the people who ask for favors. I know I need to learn how to say "no," but the guilt always hits me like a ton of bricks. Any advice on setting healthy boundaries and saying "no" without feeling like the world's worst person?

Thanks, Overwhelmed Olivia

• Thank you for taking the time to read FTM. I understand that managing your workload can be challenging, and it's important to set boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Have you talked to your supervisor about how you're feeling? They can help you prioritize your projects and navigate any workplace relationships that may be adding to your stress.

  It might be helpful to make a list of all your projects and track how much time you spend on each one. This can help you identify areas where you may be spending too much time on other people's tasks. It's important to take note of what kinds of tasks people ask of you and figure out if they actually belong to you (i.e. does it make sense for you to do these tasks in your official capacity?).

  Remember, taking care of yourself is important. Talk to your boss about how specific requests are impacting your work and let them know you'd like to stop taking on that kind of work. With a plan in place and the support of your boss, you can prioritize your own workload and manage your stress levels. I hope this helps.

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Dear Jon, The office dress code is "business casual," but the lines are blurring. I love the comfort and versatility of leggings, but I don't want to look unprofessional. Are leggings ever appropriate for work? If so, what are some tips for styling them in a polished way? I need your fashion wisdom to navigate this sartorial minefield!

Sincerely, Leggy and Lost

• Hi Leggy! Thank you for writing in. I agree with the evolving nature of business casual. Do you remember how excited your parents would be when they could wear jeans to the office? I think my dad had to donate money to earn a denim day at work! All of that to say, leggings have come a long way in terms of our perception of their appropriateness and the fabric technology that makes them far less see-through and messy than those from 2015.

  First, let’s talk about where to find some good leggings. There are several options here from Vogue that can be appropriate for work. The Frankie Shop version might be my favorite because they have a looseness to them that doesn’t scream, “I just came from spin class!” As in what to wear with leggings? I love any top or dress that comes down to at least mid-thigh or longer. You could even wear an Ina Garten-style top and it’d be perfect with leggings.

  The trick to workplace appropriate? The shoes! Don’t wear sneakers. Do a loafer, a sandal, or a boot—the right shoe can make or break a work-appropriate look. Last but not least, jewelry can bring the whole thing together for that extra oomph you want at work, but maybe not at the gym. You’ll have to share pics of your looks!

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Hi Jon, I'm a big fan of your humor, so I figured you'd be the perfect person to help me with this... unique situation. My new colleague, let's call her "Barbara," is like a human meme factory. Everything she says or does is cringe-worthy, from wearing socks and sandals to using outdated lingo like "groovy" and "far out." She's harmless, but her constant meme-worthiness is driving me crazy! I try to be polite, but I honestly can't stifle my amusement sometimes. How can I deal with Barbara without being disrespectful or breaking into laughter every five minutes?

Sincerely, Meme-Strangled Mike

• Hi Mike! Thank you for your kind words! Okay, part of me loves Barbara. This personality is an acquired taste, for sure. How closely do you two work together? If there is some distance between how often you have to engage, that can help. Where does this behavior typically show up? I’ve experienced cringe behavior frequently in places like Slack or Teams. My advice there? Put them on mute! It’s worth a delayed response at worst and your peace of mind at best if you’re able to tune out the distractions Barbara brings.

  Okay, last question? Are you laughing with Barbara, or at her? If it’s with her, you can control yourself. If you’re laughing at her, it sounds like you’re just not being very nice. Not everyone in the workplace is going to be your best friend or even on the same wavelength. But if Barbara’s antics are harmless, let her be her cringey best and swallow those jokes.

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Here’s to YOU in 2024,

Jon

Follow me on Instagram at @mistersfantastik